Even in our brokenness...

It's a classic episode in most sitcoms: While their parents are away, the kids play ball in the house or have a wild party or do something or another that breaks their mom's favorite vase or lamp or figurine. Because there is still time before their parents are due home, the kids gather up the pieces and glue them together. Then, usually one of two things happens: 1) the vase or lamp or figurine looks like it did before it was broken, but when Mom gets near it, it shatters into pieces because the glue doesn't hold, or 2) the kids get nearly the whole vase or lamp or figurine put back together before they realize they're missing a piece, so they try to position the said object in such a way that no one would notice. In the end, the kids usually end up confessing to their parents, which would have been the easiest solution to the problem to begin with, but that's why I'm not a sitcom writer (among other reasons).

I've been thinking a lot about brokenness, not in terms of vases or lamps, but in terms of people. It seems like lately the news has featured story after story of people's lives and families being torn apart by natural disasters, war, crime, death, abuse, addiction, illness, deceit, selfishness, pride, you name it. And then there are the stories that aren't on the news--the personal fractures each one of us has. Some are obvious and some hidden from view, but all of them leave us bleeding and aching.

We live in a culture that doesn't look too kindly on broken people. Broken lives are messy, and broken families are complicated. Look at Humpty Dumpty; he's still splattered all over the sidewalk because not even the king’s best men could mend him. Bookstores have scores of resources to help people fix their lives, and well-intentioned organizations want to offer a hand, but given Humpty’s situation, it’s easy to give up hope.   

I asked Kev about the physics involved with gluing something back together. If a person had all the pieces to, say, a broken vase or lamp, and glued them exactly in place, would the glue hold? Kev said it would depend on the strength of the glue. When it comes to putting together the pieces of a broken life or family, the glue is going to make all the difference.

For some people, bitterness is the first glue of choice. I’ve been there. It feels good at first to get really angry and focus all one’s energy on how unfair everything is. It’s quite convenient to blame someone or something else for the internal damage and to let resentment reign over reason. But that bitterness is gangrene in a wound, and after a while, the poison spreads to relationships and hurts other people. It seems like quick fix, but like the vase that shatters in the sitcom, the glue of bitterness doesn’t hold.

Then there’s the problem of the missing piece. I’ve been there too. Maybe through sheer will power we think we’ve managed to pull ourselves out of the mire and, one painful piece at a time, put the fragments together…only to end up with a hole. So we try to fill the hole. Maybe we try to keep ourselves busy all the time so we don’t have to think about it. Maybe we try all kinds of new things and make all kinds of big plans and try to find joy in it all, but we can’t because there’s something missing. Some people look for relief in a bottle or in a one-night stand or in the accumulation of more and more “toys,” but that missing piece continues to be missing.

That’s when we go to our Father and confess. That’s when we lay our broken heart or crushed spirit down at our Savior’s feet and pray for healing. He’s been waiting for us to come to him; he’s been reaching out his hands this whole time. He binds together the pieces of broken lives with forgiveness and grace, giving us the strength to forgive and offer grace to others. He reinforces the bonds with a peace beyond our biggest expectations that enables us to accept our circumstances with hope and trust his sovereignty.

When we go to Jesus to put us back together, there are no missing pieces in the end, but there are changed lives. Like anything that’s been broken and put back together, we’re not going to be the same as we were before; the cracks are going to show. A person broken and made whole again will have scars. Someone who has lost a love one will need to mourn. A reconciled family will need to learn to trust again. But with time, the scars fade. And with Jesus walking beside us, one day at a time seems the perfect pace.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

~Psalm 34:18