To text or not to text?

Monday night my cell phone went flying across the garage and crash landed on the cement floor. When I picked it up, the screen was blank. Turns out it was cracked in half, but when I pushed it back together just right, I could get it to work. My first thought when it looked like my phone was indeed out of commission: How soon until I can get a new one? Followed by: What if someone is trying to call me? Followed by: What if there's an emergency? I really shouldn't leave the house without my phone working.

Sheesh. After a moment of insanity, I remembered all the years I somehow survived without a cell phone--how I drove back and forth to Eau Claire every weekend in all kinds of weather with no instant form of communication--how I had to wait to get home and check the answering machine when I was expecting a call following a job interview. It really wasn't that long ago.

So now that my old flip phone has bit the dust, it's time to think about upgrading. I've resisted having a phone that does more than make calls until now. I'm a bit turned off by the idea of texting and having instant access to the Internet no matter where I am, but I wonder if it's time I got past all that and joined the 21st century. The truth is, I'm a bit intimidated by the technology I don't really understand. What are apps, and what does it mean to tweet someone? I don't know, and frankly, I'm not that interested in finding out.

Let's consider texting for a moment. It puzzles me to see people moving their thumbs at an abnormal speed in order to come up with a bunch of words (I'd hardly call it a sentence) composed of made-up acronyms that they could just as easily relay in person were they to actually dial the phone and talk to someone. I don't get it. Maybe it's because I enjoy the English language so much it makes me nauseous to see what texting has done to it, or maybe it's because I value more personal forms of communication than fragments flashing on a screen, but I'm really reluctant to jump on the texting bandwagon.

And as for instant Internet access, well, I can see the benefits, but I'm kind of creeped out by the idea of being connected to the outside world all the time. What if I want to get away? Will I be able to just turn off my phone and forget about it, or will I be sucked into the Borg?

Okay, so maybe bringing the Borg into the debate is a little melodramatic.

I must concede, I can see how texting could be convenient. And I've already admitted that having the Internet at my fingertips might well come in handy. It's doubtful I'll ever tweet anyone, though (whatever that means), and you certainly will never catch me ROFLing, KWIM?